Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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