She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
