I think I am morally bankrupt
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
