I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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