Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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