im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
