is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
