And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
