You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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