He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
