My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
