I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
