It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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