NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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