Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
