We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
