yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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