the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
