My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
