you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
