Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
