nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
