Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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