now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
