If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
