Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
