So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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