Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
