2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
wakey wakey hands off snakey
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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