Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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