Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
