I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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