I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
