Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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