so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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