just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize