If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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