arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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