If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
