remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
