Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
