I will die if light touches me.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
