He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
