wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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