I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
