3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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