found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
