ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
