She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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