I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
