I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
one two three fourrrrnication!
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
