Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
